Purpose

“The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time” – Jack London

“Not how long, but how well you have lived is the main thing.” — Seneca.

I knew my life’s purpose when I was 12 years old. I would become a Navy SEAL. I fulfilled that lifelong goal at the age of 21. But when I decided to leave the Navy, I had no idea the fallout that would come with giving up this goal, this dream, this lifestyle. If you’re anything like me and always have seven irons in the fire, it can be difficult to focus and commit to one path.

Join me on Fishtales as we embark on a journey to find understanding, our purpose, or perhaps our new purpose.

The year is 2023; it has been ten years and three months, almost to the day I got out of the Navy. For those 10+ years, I have struggled to find my new life’s purpose. I have felt completely lost at sea. The battles I have waged against myself have caused much angst, confusion, and frustration. The same questions I ponder, my struggles with life, and the feeling of being lost and confused are nothing new to humanity. Many a great philosopher, stoic, writer, leader, human, literally everyone has asked those same questions and struggled with them at one point or another. How do we pull ourselves out of this battle and find victory?

“We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.” – Charles Bukowski.

Finding meaning in life can be as challenging as searching for the Holy Grail. As far back as the fourth century BC, Aristotle pondered life’s purpose and developed his theory. The Japanese call it Ikigai, founded in the Heian period, between 794 to 1185. A combination of the Japanese words “iki”, which translates to “life,” and “gai”, which is used to describe value or worth. Ikigai is all about finding joy in life through purpose. Ikigai is what gets you up every morning and keeps you going.

Our society makes us think that if we achieve certain things and act a certain way, we’ll find fulfillment automatically. But the truth is that a fulfilling life looks different for everyone. What we find fulfilling is based on our values, beliefs, and human needs.  And while achieving our goals – in our careers, relationships, and family life – is a precursor to fulfillment, it isn’t the whole story.

Where does one start? We can start by asking ourselves a few basic questions. What am I passionate about? Where does my heart pull me? What gives me great satisfaction? What am I good at, and what brings me joy? How do I make an impact on other people’s lives? How do I want to be remembered? These questions are just the tip of the iceberg. Answering them and understanding them can be a lot more challenging than expected. You need to be completely honest and break these questions down into specific details. How can we find some of these answers?

“The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.” – Leo Tolstoy 1828-1910

Focus more on life’s deep meaning through reflection, meditation, and study. What are we reflecting on? All the good and all the bad. What are we studying? Yourself! Life’s most prominent teachers, without a doubt, come from our failures and other people’s failures; we should learn from both. Our mindset and our actions tend to be on opposite pages. We need to align them and then match our effort. When our effort matches our vision, we can create opportunity. Self-awareness is critical to forging your path.  

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw

Finding fulfillment in life involves connecting with yourself: your most profound dreams, purpose, and passions. It’s about discovering what you want out of that life. True fulfillment comes from designing your own life. How do you create one? Identify what that life looks like and reverse engineer it or start from the beginning and create a step-by-step process until you can see the path set before you. It should be detailed, specific, honest, achievable, and believable…for you! Life has a habit of throwing curve balls and wrenches into our gears, so be flexible, pivot, and adjust but stay the course.

 “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain.

Creating a life vision statement can help you stay the course, it involves identifying what life would look like if you lived to your fullest potential. It also means having a clear picture of an ultimate destination and a detailed road map to get you there. Vision mapping is the process of defining your road map toward achieving your big vision. It is the act of outlining clear steps for accomplishing what you truly desire. A vision map can take the form of a list, timeline, illustration, mind map, or diagram.

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown.

Setting goals and our life vision statement go hand in hand. We should have specific goals in several different aspects of our lives. The plans you work toward must always be based on finding your purpose. When we specify our goals, it gives them meaning. It brings them to life and provides us with motivation, enjoyment, and direction. Our purpose will give us advice vital to maintaining our actual course and seeing our goal come to life. Having an end goal gives us something to work towards and helps us stay focused. Our goals need to be specific, and the road map to attain them also needs to be very specific. Details matter.  

**Write down a list of areas in your life where you would like a significant improvement.

**Make a list of your most important dreams, desires, or projects for those areas.

Five steps in the Vision Mapping Process

1. Write a clear and precise description of that dream.
2. Create a goals page. State the goal at the top, then make a list of specific, intermediate goals that need to be achieved to fulfill that dream.
3. Create a page for each goal and label those pages “goals to steps.”
4. Create a “steps to task” page. List specific steps that need to be completed to take that step.
5. Assign completion dates.

“Discovering one’s “purpose” in life essentially boils down to finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself, and bigger than those around you.”  – Mark Manson. 

Whatever you nurture will grow.

Whatever you repeat, you reinforce

What you do daily becomes your habits

Your habits become your future

A meaningful life lesson I learned years ago is that my purpose can change and will most likely change through different seasons of life; who I am is not directly related to what I do; it is a part of me but not me. As I grow and change with life, so will my passions, which can lead to our new purpose. We should be flexible and listen to our innermost wants and needs. One of the most complex parts of learning to find your purpose is letting go of old identities and interests that no longer serve us. Certain people, places, habits, and values will need to change to fully step into your future new self and your future new purpose.

“Before you can ask yourself “What is my purpose?” you first have to know what an ideal world looks like and how you fit into it.” – Tony Robbins.

In my pursuit to discover my happiness and meaning in life, I have found purpose in sharing this knowledge with the world, with you, my readers, and supporters. I am passionate about sharing life and helping others achieve joy, peace, and greatness. My passion is writing and sharing life’s wisdom. My purpose is to help you. I am filled with joy and purpose when people reach out to me directly and thank me for sharing, inspiring, and helping them on their journey. The gift of fulfillment has no price.

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” – Pablo Picasso.

Your quest for meaning and purpose will be counterproductive if it hinders your happiness. Therefore, happiness must be a part of your purpose in life. What brings you happiness? Not surface-level happiness either – materialistic happiness. I’m talking about deep in your heart and soul being happy.

Want to know the cheat code to happiness? It’s a service to other people. From service, you will receive an abundance of gratitude.

“Service is the direct path to a meaningful life.” – Jay Shetty.

Each of us has something to give. Most people think of a monetary gift when giving. But giving goes far beyond money. Some have talents, some have time, and some have compassion, wisdom, and even love. When we’re in service, we’re an investment of grace and mercy. Service helps other people and helps us. We don’t expect anything in return, but we get the joy of service. It’s an exchange of love. From personal experience and the research I have done for this blog, I have come to agree that a big part of life and self-fulfillment is service to others.

“The secret to living is giving.”  – Tony Robbins.

“If you’re not growing, you’re dying” – Tony Robbins.

When we’re in service, we’re an investment of grace and compassion. Service helps other people and helps us. To help someone is to use the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Words of praise, appreciation, encouragement, and understanding can penetrate one’s mind and heal one’s soul.

“A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be restored.” – Proverbs 11:25

“I believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. “– Dalai Lama.

Need help and clarification? Suppose you are constantly hitting speed bumps, making bad decisions, feeling empty, feeling lost, and feeling incomplete, then according to The Journal of Positive Psychology. In that case, you could lack coherence, purpose, or significance. The Journal of Positive Psychology defines each of those as:

Coherence: how events fit together.

Purpose: the existence of goals and aims.

Significance: life’s inherent value

Coherence is an understanding that things happen in your life for a reason; the purpose is the belief that you are alive to do something, and significance is life’s inherent value.

“There is no hope for success for the person who does not have a central purpose, or definite goal at which to aim.” – Napoleon Hill 1883-1970

“A man who lacks purpose distracts himself with pleasure.” – Viktor Frankl.

In conclusion

Finding your purpose can be challenging but possible. Listen to your heart and follow your dreams. Knowing and understanding yourself can lead to an easier path. Service to others is key to your purpose; find your passion and see how you can serve with it. Your love and drive can and will change as the seasons change. Don’t try to force it or hold on too long; life can correct your course whether you like it.

As we sail the seasons in life, let us face life head-on, and sail right into the storm. In the end, death is the only thing that gives us perspective on the value of our life.

“Your passion is for you. Your purpose is for others. Your passion becomes your purpose when you use it to serve others.” – Jay Shetty.

Reflections:

• You can serve others with time, words, thoughtfulness, and acts. You can start now and immediately start feeling the incredible effects of gratitude and service.
• True greatness is measured by the impact we have on the lives of others.
• We can’t save anyone, but we can serve everyone.  
• Our purpose will always be tied to people.
• To maintain honest relations with others, we must first be true to ourselves.
• What can I do with my time that’s important?

Create your magic.

Fish